Top 10 Ways to Lose an Annoying Buddy FAST

(By the readers of www.scubadiving.com)

10) Give your buddy "I'll follow you" signal and then go in the opposite direction.
9) Send him back to our boat for more air.
8) Tell him to meet you on the "anchor line" on a drift dive.
7) Two words--camouflage wetsuit.
6) Tell him you spent a lot of money for this dive and you want to get the maximum bottom time possible. So the plan is for one person to breathe all his air then share air with his buddy, then do an emergency ascent from 45 meters.
5) Let him enter the shipwreck first, then close and lock the door.
4) While gearing up, tell him not to pay attention to the large pus filled sores on and in your mouth. If he needs air, you'll be there.
3) Blow up heaps of party balloons on the boat using his regulator.
2) Paint "FULL" needles on his gauges and remove the real ones.
1) Confess you never really got certified, you're just using a Qualified Diver card you found while walking on a beach.