Top 10 Signs Your Dive Buddy Isn't as Experienced as He Claims to Be

• 10) His octopus really is one.
• 9) He asks, "Which one of these thingies goes in my mouth?"
• 8) He offers to carry everybody's gear down to the dock.
• 7) He thinks BC is a comic strip about a caveman.
• 6) He says, "Oh, I just wait 'til I get that tingling feeling, then I know it's time to surface."
• 5) His mum has to buy air for him.
• 4) He's upset when you tell him that his dive computer doesn't run Windows '95.
• 3) He pees in his wetsuit BEFORE he gets in the water.
• 2) He argues vehemently that Nitrox was a monster who battled Godzilla.
• 1) He says he learned everything he knows about diving from Greg Louganis.